if this was it
would i be happy
with just this
if i loved this and only this
and let it make me a widower
if everything bad i can imagine happened
would i remain sane
remain me
by holding on to this?

if i lost my job,
my way,
my family,
friends,
my mind,
every woman who ever loved me,
and every possible formation of light
in my horseshoe-up-the-ass life—

-

would i be fine
with just this?