if this was it
would i be happy
with just this
if i loved this and only this
and let it make me a widower
if everything bad i can imagine happened
would i remain sane
remain me
by holding on to this?

lost the job,
my way,
family,
friends,
my mind,
every woman who’s ever loved me,
and every possible formation of light
in my horseshoe-up-the-ass life—

-

would i be fine
with just this?