was there ever a chance,
or was I just not listening
then Sunday,
incessantly chatty,
drunken confessions
your sister wiped my tears
and told us to marry,
the bed we made—
those moments
that felt like the world
shifting in our favor.

the unspoken love,
the taboo
that creates life
in tiny rooms.
like when I was twenty.
it felt the same.
not always flowers,
but raw friction.

it’s the other side calling—
not death,
life.
the loudest voice
the heavens
for all we know
breaking through
in piercing,
frightening choir

did you hear the bells ringing
all the moments
you told me
to let go?

death is not knowing
how you feel
or where you sleep tonight
I’ve written a thousand stories
in my head

-

because you didn’t want to carry me
into the new year